OLD LADY-1 JERK IN CAR- 0

This video has been around for a little bit, but I just rediscovered it. It says a lot for little old ladies of the world: they are small and cute, but don't for any reason or circumstance, mess with them. They will kill you. They will cut a fool.  Well, this is a comic gem brought to you by youtube.

It looks like the story goes like our elderly friend (lets call her Fran) was out at the flower market or shopping for her and her husband Leon (don't call him leo, he doesn't like that nickname) and on her way back home from shopping she fell asleep. As she was crossing the street. In the middle of the road. You see, in her old age, Fran has developed narcolepsy and can fall asleep anywhere.

Now, here come, let's call him Chip, in his sportscar. He is late for a meeting with his divorce lawyer. He is divorcing is wife of 22 years to be with some fitness trainer named "Brandee"(Yes, with two ees) We don't have enough room here for his backstory. He is just late, and has came across Fran the narcoleptic grandma.

Now that I have my made up backstory, let's have a laugh and see how it plays out!!!



You know nothing ends well when you take an airbag to the face!!!!

I'M FALLING FOR AUTUMN

As the leaves turn to their colors of orange, yellow, gold, red, purple-ish, or puke green, I am reminded why I love this season! I love the temperature, I love that it get darker earlier, I love halloween,  (Hello, Candy! I believe we have met.) and sometimes it even snows. It is a great time of change. It is a great time of change and growth in one's life and in the world. But I mostly love the colors of the trees. (I bet you thought I was getting all deep on you. HAHA! I am saving all those musings for "The Book.") 

I have an old friend, who is on Facebook and she posted a picture that she took of a tree, and I have been obsessed with it. It's gorgeous! It's glamourous! It's glorious! She claims she just took it, but it is so awesome, it looks like a painting. She gives all the credit to the tree. I can see her point, the tree did just have it's leaves colored. So with her permission, I give to you her photo...

...and I shall name the tree Janice. She is 45, divorced, and lost a son to a lumberjack. She was in People Magazine's 50 most Beautiful Trees 2003. She now works as shade and is looking forward to hanging a tire swing. She is hoping for hanging Christmas lights this year, and as always, looks forward to spring and the opportunity to show off her big buds. 

Thanks Kalli!

IF I COULD TALK TO THE ANIMALS...

Sam trying on a Halloween costume--a blonde wig.
She got pretty furious that I put this on her
head and took a picture. She just started
speaking to me again... 

As it has been stated, I love animals. I love nothing or nobody more than "Sam, America's Favorite Dog," my golden lab. She is just like my baby. When I tell her we are going for a walk, she goes to hop in the car and knows we are going for a drive. We are lazy. The drive usually ends with a trip to the store or to McDonald's. She is not worried about her girlish figure. I am not worried about mine, either.
She is the funniest thing.  She would drive that car that we take our walk on, if I would let her. She never misses"Desperate Housewives" and loves to dance to Rod Stewart. Her favorite member of "The View" is Whoopi. She loves to go outside in the mornings and sit on the patio and listen to the birds chirp in the trees-- they are her pet birds after all. She likes to go visit her Aunt Terri, and visit her gang of cats, who have let her in the gang as an honorary member. Today I might have found some more friends of hers.....


Two things I love are animals and British humour, (I think they are funnier than anyone else! Why is that?!) and a show on BBC has mashed the two together! Check out this first video, and find a bonus video after the jump!! 

Don't you think those Zebras laughed their stripes loose!?? I would like their whole herd on the front row at my every show!!! 

VIVA COCO!!

I just found out that Team Coco and everyone over at "Conan" have been giving us a live camera feed for 24 hours! It is now over. BOO!! I missed it. Good thing they posted it all on youtube and you can click HERE to see all that went down! He is almost on air over at TBS can you believe it? I have always loved Consie and can't wait for his return to television! Leno who??

During the live feed his first week of guests were announced via puppets, and y'all know how I feel about puppets, but you couldn't hear the puppeteers but barely. So here is the list: 

• Monday, Nov. 8 – Seth Rogen and musical guest Jack White
• Tuesday, Nov. 9 – Tom Hanks, Jack McBrayer and musical guest Soundgarden
• Wednesday, Nov. 10 – Jon Hamm, Charlyne Yi and musical guest Fistful of Mercy
• Thursday, Nov. 11 – Michael Cera, Julie Bowen and comedian Jon Dore

and he even has a poll going on over on his website for US to pick his very first guest. I for one, cannot wait until Nov 18, therefore it being legal for Conan to be on TV again! 

after the jump watch Conando take a viewer question, and at the same time, humiliate his head writer.

TRAILER TIME!

Here is a new teaser trailer for the next Disney*Pixar movie squealing into theaters next summer.....



I don't know how I feel about this one. Pixar has not had a flop yet, but spies? C'mon! This feels a little forced. What do you think??

IT'S CLOSE TO MIDNIGHT...

Here it is! I found it! It is that time of year to dust off your Vincent Price laugh and watch the greatest music video ever made! It was directed by John Landis (an American Werewolf in London) and with the help of make up effects wizard Rick Baker, "Thriller" was a milestone!

So grab some treats, huddle around the computer and enjoy MJ's "Thriller'! It's thrilling! Prepare to be thrilled! The shear thrill of watching it is thrilling! okay, I will stop.....

THRILL ME

Last Saturday, I joined my good friends Cody and Amanda and we went to see "Thriller." A production put on every year by Odyssey Dance Company. (click HERE for tickets and a promo vid) It rocked!

It was bloody, bloody good fun for everyone!!     

                                                                                                                                                                                           

I am focused! I am sweating! 

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        

Boy, they look like one excited couple!

They did everything from a Michael Jackson tribute to a Lorena Bobitt medley. (I still shiver!) They presented a Ghostbuster that could breakdance that eventually was possessed. Frankenstein and his bride danced their own haunting ballet-- until he snapped her neck and killed her. Then he dragged her corpse around to music. Skeletons danced and popped and locked and swapped heads in the dark. Why am I telling you when I can show you pictures??

Is this supposed to be "Tron?"

The Michael Jackson Tribute. It was scary!!!

Lorena Bobbitt cutting thru one of her hits.

The breakdancing Ghostbuster

This was the Riverdance of Blood. They all danced until they were all shot to
death. Funny and morbid.

Thriller! !

It was quite the night. We hear a high-pitch scream come from the crowd, it sounded like a scared little girl, but it was probably an older gentleman.  It usually is. This just put me in the mood to watch Michael Jackson's masterpiece, "Thriller" let me see where I put it.....

I LOVE MY HAIR

Sesame Street has been buzzed about a lot lately. Between Katy Perry keeping her (Oscar the Grouch) Cans covered, to Grover's Old Spice Parody, Sesame Street is the place to be. 

That brings us to today. It is brought to you by the word HAIR. Sesame's head writer, and puppeteer, Joey Mazzarino with his wife have adopted a little girl from Ethiopia named Segi. 

Segi has recently made comments that she would like to have long blonde hair like her friends. Our good friend Joey has responded to his daughter the only way a good Muppeteer should: with a Sesame Segment on HAIR, and how we should all love our hair no matter what, because it is OUR'S. 

Check out this awesome ode to the fuzzy stuff on top of our noggin after the jump

A TEASE

I have been visiting with Grandma Neal lately, and have been working on the videos we made. In the meantime, here are a couple of teasers for you. They look compelling!!!






Just as it says, more to come!!

FOR TRENT

Hi friends. This post kills two birds with one stone, or fills two cavities with one cavity fill.... whatever they fill cavities with. Gold? Silver? Lead?

My brother Trent is now in Dentistry School and is learning to "drill, baby, drill." I hear he is doing fine and only misplaced 1 patient's tooth,  a bridge, 3 sets of pediatric dentures  and  a row of patients! That is a pretty good average! Way to go Trent! This video is for you.....

Also, my friends up at The Iron Door Playhouse are doing "The Little Shop of Horrors" this week and I wanted to shamelessly promote them. With the folks behind it, it will be a "Horror-ble" production! I am hoping that I can come up and check it out myself. It will be fantastic! If you haven't gotten your tickets, get them quick, before they are eaten up!

now for the vid, a song from "Little Shop of Horrors" movie featuring Steve Martin, and directed by Frank Oz. This song will explain to you my fear of dentists (I am not kidding about that one) and my love for Mr. Martin!



Now if you will excuse me, I need to go have a hit of nerve gas.....

(also Trent, I was kidding. You will make a fine dentist. His practice will be great folks! please don't hurt me when you see me! Please! You know I bruise like a peach!)

THAT'S HOW WE ROLL

Here is the new ad for tourism in California. It has stars, and people who think they are stars,  people who want you to think they are stars, and the incomprehensible Betty White! That is some smart marketing! 

I need to be on the next flight to CA. To visit my friend Mickey. We go way WAY back. One time, I went to dinner with him and Milton Berle. Boy that was legendary! It was so so funny! It was funny.  It was hilarious! Not to be forgotten! It was so wacky, with me, Mickey, and Milton, that when we ordered dinner, oh boy this is the funny part, that.... that... uh.... oh shoot! I forgot......

THE QUOTE OF THE DAY

"A church has a stronger foundation than an outhouse."

                                           -the comes from an elderly gentleman I met at The OG who also has large feet.

SMELL LIKE GROVER

Everyone has seen the "old spice" commercials right? The ones where a rather attractive man tells you how old spice shower gel works and it is very funny. Well, those folks at Sesame Street are at the top of their game for season 41, (they have even had a scandal! Katy Perry!) and have Grover, our cute and furry little buddy, doing a parody of these commercials. If you have not seen the "old spice" commercials I have included one so you too can be in on the joke.

First the Old Spice:

Now Grover's Parody:

Those Sesame Street guys are too funny for their own good!

WORST POLITICAL CAMPAIGN AD EVER

Tea Party candidate in Delaware, Christine O'Donnell has been in the news a lot lately. A clip of her on 90's show "Politically Incorrect" shows her confessing that she "dabbled" in witchcraft. Well, that sent people into a fury. This led her to releasing the WORST CAMPAIGN AD EVER. Now, watch this, and think about if I had not prefaced you with this information. It will give you a kick.


and now....THE WORST CAMPAIGN AD.... EVER.



If one of your political ads starts off with the sentence, "I am not a witch" everybody is in trouble. As I understand it, this young woman has said some pretty outlandish things but this is the funniest.


Christine O'Donnell did not pay for this post, and I am not affiliated with the Tea Party. This woman sure as heck is not ME. She can't work the facial hair and broad shoulders like I do. Do you think she could rock a joke like moi? I hope I don't have hair like her. The point is, she is not ME.

I am looking forward to meeting her while waiting for The Great Pumpkin, maybe she

will do a fly by on her broom,

and we can discuss education

in america and tax cuts, and

broom stick chaffing. It's real,

people. It's real.

MANHANDS

A few years ago it was announced that there was a bidding war over a book of essays to be written by my girl, Tina Fey. I took note and have been waiting to hear. Today, I heard.

A poster was revealed with an alleged cover at The Frankfurt Book Fair over the weekend. The book, titled Bossypants, will be released to booksellers in the spring. I love me some Tina Fey. Not only is she easy on the eyes, she is one of the funniest human beings living! She made us believe Sarah Palin could see Russia from her house! She made Sarah Palin believe she could see Russia from her house! Back to the book talk...

Whenever it hits shelves, I will be first in line to get my copy at Barnes and Noble, but this picture begs me to ask, " Why in the heck does Tina Fey have my dad's arms?"

What do you think? Creepy? Hilarious? Creepily Hilarity at it's finest? Maybe Tina is having some sort of allergic reaction to something she ate, like spam, and her arms are swollen. Or, it could be a side effect to the make up she uses. Maybe, just maybe, these are her real arms and hands and all others have been fakes! It could happen! Oh, the possibilities!! I don't know. You folks discuss. 


And why is she dressed like Elaine Stritch? 

Oh, and those are not my dad's arms. He would never wear a watch. 

"YO HO, YO HO, A STUDENT'S LIFE FOR ME..."

Captain Jack Sparrow himself, not some Disney employee with really cool dreads, visited a school in South London this week, when Captain Jack received a letter from a student named Beatrice asking for lessons in pirating and mutinying against her teachers. She ended the letter by promising rum. 
So, of course to everyone's surprise and delight Johnny Depp as Sparrow 
showed up! He is currently filming the fourth installment in the Pirates of the 
Caribbean franchise. 


Here is a video of the event, but alas, not a very good quality one:





This story makes me wish while I was in school, I would have written a letter to Big Bird asking for flying lessons!!!!

AMERICAN IDOL 2010: THE NEW CLASS

It is like seeing a picture of the Titanic before it set sail......

WHO COULD EVER LEARN TO LOVE A BEAST? (ON BLU-RAY)....

Way back in 1991 The Walt Disney Company released the now classic "Beauty and the Beast" starring Belle, and The Beast, and Cogsworth, Lumiere, Mrs. Potts and the rest of the gang. It changed my childhood for the better. I remember watching that everyday BEFORE school and everyday AFTER school! I can't watch it without mouthing every line, and I always tear up when Belle finally tells The Beast that she loves him. I know, I am a big sissy man.










Disney has released this classic on blu-ray and DVD this week, and to celebrate we here at thechasebeechershow.blogspot.com have found that classic Tale as old as Time as sung by Celine Dion and Peabo Bryson....(Brace yourselves for some early nineties Celine!)

DOG DAYS ARE OVER

Over the summer I have had this glorious song stuck in my head titled, "The Dog Days Are Over" by Florence + The Machine. It was then featured in the trailer for "Eat. Pray. Love." That sent the song out into the world to be heard. It was catching on.
Then, last month Florence packed up her machine and headed to the VMAs and performed the song flawlessly and attempted to recreate her wild music video. Check out her awesome performance from the VMAs (I have been meaning to post this for awhile) and tell me what you think of Florence + that wonderful Machine of hers.....

2010 MTV Video Music Awards - More VMA Video

Pretty rad if you ask me. Which you didn't. But I told you anyway.

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN AND WHATEVERS....

Presenting to you The Chase Beecher Show! Early in the summer Mz. Oprah Winfrey asked for submissions to have your OWN show on her network. (called OWN, get it?) I submitted a tape, but had to cut a lot of my jokes and funny stunts due to time. I was running like a mad man to get it in and under time. Time has marched on, and I have not been picked to be in the running to have my OWN show.
I have taken the three minute audition tape and added all the jokes and interview "stuff" in it and am now presenting it to you! Tell me what you think! The editing is not the greatest, due to me being in a crunch the first time I was editing it for the contest.
Sit back, relax, and prepare yourself for, "The Chase Beecher Show: a new hope (the audition for my OWN show) !!!!!!!!!

THE NICEST PEOPLE IN AMERICA

I have recently seen this rad video making the rounds and have to bring it to your attention. These two brothers decide to go hitchhiking from Colorado to Canada. They document their adventure. On their way they meet what they call, "the nicest people in America." This is personal to me because they stop in my hometown of Malad, Id. It looks like they venture through once, briefly, and then again to stay awhile on a farm. They spend some quality time moving pipe and eating at the Malad Drive Inn, (It doesn't show movies!) which is a staple in the sleepy little town. I have done my fare share of chowing down there. I think I ate there so much they re-paved the sidewalks one summer because of me alone. Anyway, check out this video after the jump------