AMERICAN IDOL 2010: THE NEW CLASS

It is like seeing a picture of the Titanic before it set sail......

WHO COULD EVER LEARN TO LOVE A BEAST? (ON BLU-RAY)....

Way back in 1991 The Walt Disney Company released the now classic "Beauty and the Beast" starring Belle, and The Beast, and Cogsworth, Lumiere, Mrs. Potts and the rest of the gang. It changed my childhood for the better. I remember watching that everyday BEFORE school and everyday AFTER school! I can't watch it without mouthing every line, and I always tear up when Belle finally tells The Beast that she loves him. I know, I am a big sissy man.










Disney has released this classic on blu-ray and DVD this week, and to celebrate we here at thechasebeechershow.blogspot.com have found that classic Tale as old as Time as sung by Celine Dion and Peabo Bryson....(Brace yourselves for some early nineties Celine!)

DOG DAYS ARE OVER

Over the summer I have had this glorious song stuck in my head titled, "The Dog Days Are Over" by Florence + The Machine. It was then featured in the trailer for "Eat. Pray. Love." That sent the song out into the world to be heard. It was catching on.
Then, last month Florence packed up her machine and headed to the VMAs and performed the song flawlessly and attempted to recreate her wild music video. Check out her awesome performance from the VMAs (I have been meaning to post this for awhile) and tell me what you think of Florence + that wonderful Machine of hers.....

2010 MTV Video Music Awards - More VMA Video

Pretty rad if you ask me. Which you didn't. But I told you anyway.

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN AND WHATEVERS....

Presenting to you The Chase Beecher Show! Early in the summer Mz. Oprah Winfrey asked for submissions to have your OWN show on her network. (called OWN, get it?) I submitted a tape, but had to cut a lot of my jokes and funny stunts due to time. I was running like a mad man to get it in and under time. Time has marched on, and I have not been picked to be in the running to have my OWN show.
I have taken the three minute audition tape and added all the jokes and interview "stuff" in it and am now presenting it to you! Tell me what you think! The editing is not the greatest, due to me being in a crunch the first time I was editing it for the contest.
Sit back, relax, and prepare yourself for, "The Chase Beecher Show: a new hope (the audition for my OWN show) !!!!!!!!!

THE NICEST PEOPLE IN AMERICA

I have recently seen this rad video making the rounds and have to bring it to your attention. These two brothers decide to go hitchhiking from Colorado to Canada. They document their adventure. On their way they meet what they call, "the nicest people in America." This is personal to me because they stop in my hometown of Malad, Id. It looks like they venture through once, briefly, and then again to stay awhile on a farm. They spend some quality time moving pipe and eating at the Malad Drive Inn, (It doesn't show movies!) which is a staple in the sleepy little town. I have done my fare share of chowing down there. I think I ate there so much they re-paved the sidewalks one summer because of me alone. Anyway, check out this video after the jump------

I ALWAYS WONDERED WHERE ROWLF FIT INTO THINGS....

Thanks to collegehumor.com we have a crafty little chart to show us where all our favorite Muppets fit into the circle of life. It turns out Rowlf is the most zen of our motley crew!  . After the jump see what I mean and  check out the beard that Animal is rockin'!

I AM NOT DROPPING A HINT HERE....

But, there is a special day this week, and if you click on this link, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9hFuiRROi04 It will give you a clue as to what is going on this week!! It's big!!

PLAY ME A SONG MR. PIANO MAN

I can't get this song out of my head right now, so here is the video for y'all to see. It is "Misery" by Maroon 5. Now you can have it stuck in your head now....


Maroon 5 - Misery
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CHASE & JULIA

Part of my stand up act is my impression of Julia Child. Here is a video of a sketch I did in 2009. It was filmed from far away, so it doesn't look that great, but you can make out the craziness. I don't know why, but my Julia Child is purely insane!



oh, and that is a rolled up beach towel, in case anyone wanted to know...

ART! ART! ART!

From time to time, from now on, I am going to display artist's work that I think is awesome. Our first artist here is James Hance and you can click HERE to check out his other work. His collection is called "Relentlessly Cheerful"and includes very pop-oriented art. Everything from Dorothy and the Tin Man, to the creatures of "Labyrinth" to "Star Wars"to "Van Gogh" meets "Batman" and, of course, Muppets. Very RAD, man!!! Check him out. I have picked some of my favorite pieces to display here....

Capt. Link Hogthrob from "Pigs in Space"and Spock from "Star-- oh you know that show about space and whatever."*

                                    Ode to "Mee Mee Meee Meeeeee!"*

           Superman and Super Grover share stories about Wonder Woman*

 "Here come Super Gro--- ohh-nooo! My cape got caught. Can someone call me a taxi?"*

*These are not the names of these works of art, this is just me being silly.  Kidding aside, these are fabulous, and you need to see the rest of this man's stuff, so go check it out! Grover, you have never looked better, baby!

ACE IN THE HOLE

My cousin Chad is a disc golfer extraordinaire, and has multiple injuries to prove it! Here is a short teaser video that he made "frolfing" in our neighborhood. Now I see why his kids are so crazy....

NEW FRIENDS

I met a new friend. I don't think we got started off on the right foot. See what I mean after the jump...

A STAND UP GUY

Here is a clip of a character I did for a stand up show in December 2009. His name is Tommy, he is 7 years old, and he has a secret. It was filmed from far away, so the quality isn't that good. There will be more from this show to come!!

WE'RE AT DISNEYLAND!

TO INFINITY AND BEYOND?

Here I am on the Disneyland Rockets in Tomorrowland!

SWEDISH POPCORN

Okay, Folks, I have been trying not to put EVERYTHING The Muppets do on here, but this is just too funny! The Swedish Chef attempts to make popcorn. Or, he attempts to make popcorn shrimp. I don't know, I don't understand mock swedish. All I know, is it's funny and it makes Red Lobster's popcorn shrimp look boring. and lazy. and unfunny. Plus, it has a catchy song from the Seventies!



I am now going to get a snack....

IMPORTANT GRAPHS, IMPORTANT INFORMATION, IMPORTANT FOR YOU

This is live or die intelligence. Of course it is, it's in a graph! All graphs are important information!! My life has been enhanced and changed by this information. Thank you lady who made these...

Tell me how YOUR life was changed by these graphs!

WHO NEEDS A SLIP AND SLIDE?

The dog days of summer are upon us, and we are all looking for ways to cool off. I see many kids on their lawns in my neighborhood using pools and the fun, favorite: the slip and slide.

This brings me to this little video that I discovered today watching the news. What do I love with a passion? What makes me laugh with pure joy and sends me to Nirvana? Yes, folks, people falling down.

These models demonstrate that you don't need a slip and slide in the dog days of summer to have a ball sliding down the runway. Well, they might not have had a ball, but I sure did watching it! Does this ever get old?

PUTTING THE SHOW IN OPRAH

I have been working my rear off the past few weeks on an audition tape for Oprah's have your OWN show contest and finally have my audition tape submitted. Click the link to watch and VOTE! Voting ends July 3!!!

http://myown.oprah.com/audition/index.html?request=video_details&response_id=20657&promo_id=1

SEAT BUDDIES

On Friday, I went on vacation down to St. George and went with the family to see TARZAN at Tuacahn, the world's best outdoor stage. There were apes flying over me and Tarzan ziplined right over top of me and almost took me out! (and yes, I saw up his loin cloth...) It was great, and had great music written by Phil Collins. (it is based on the Disney movie)

But THE BEST part is when I went to sit down the guy next to me told me his name, shook my hand and told me he was his "seat buddy" for the night. I thought, "great, a friendly person, like me." We talked for a little bit about broadway shows we had seen and his kids and wife were way stoked to see this.

Well, my sister, Allison saw this and thought it was a hoot, and took a picture. I don't get it....



Okay, maybe I do, we look a little like salt and pepper shakers.

BEST STARING CONTEST EVER

The drummer from one of my favorite bands, OK GO, met his match in a staring contest the other night at the webby awards. When I first saw this, I about fell off the bed I was laughing so hard! Look for celebrities in the background!

How would you like to be Animal's roady for a year? I wouldn't mind. I bet you would eat a lot! 

ATTA BOY!

I am surrounded by mountains of talent. Today's entertainment is provided by my nephew, Josh, who self-taught himself a song on the piano. It is fantastic. You will have to guess what it is, but it makes me what to punch a mushroom and get a 1 up. Also look for a cameo from his little sister!



What a good little piano player! Good luck at your recital, Josh!

IN PROCESS

As you may know or you are finding out, I am putting together an audition tape for Oprah's contest to "have your OWN show" and here is a taste of what I have been filming. It will be a funny, funny (trust me, it's funny) 3 minute audition tape and here is Mr. Whatnot's segment. He demanded that the public see it....

DOWNLOAD ME!

Today I am offering a great deal! Click HERE to download a comedy track featuring Mr. Whatnot and my buddy Young Sim in the studio. They are clowning around and it is a test track for me. I am working on a new album and this is a test track. I want to see how this track goes, and then on with the album. The album will be a character album. So click and download for free. It's painless and harmless and free. Hey, it's better than Botox!

"HEY DOC, THERE'S A HOLE IN YOUR HEADLIGHT"

Singer, Actor, TV Show Host, and Sausage Salesman, Jimmy Dean passed Sunday night at the young age of 81. I best know Jimmy for his hit song "Big Bad John" from 1961. My father played that song blasting constant while I was growing up.  Big Bad John. I get it Dad. He was Big. He was Bad. Oh, man, my father loves that song. Even today, if I spend a day with him, that song will come on in his truck. Well, he likes what he likes!

I also don't think any one can eat sausage without thinking of Mr. Dean. He was a friend to the pork industry!

But, he hosted a great show during the golden age of TV and gave a start to a little puppy named "Rowlf." They were a hoot together. Rowlf grew up and went on the "The Muppet Show" and other things; Some of their best moments have been captured on this video below. It is from a special about Jim Henson that aired on PBS a few years ago. The sketch where Rowlf is sick, and his belly button finally gives out gets me rolling on the ground every time! Enjoy, and wherever you are Mr. Dean, lots of love and appreciation, and enjoy the next part of the journey....

THE LOVERS, THE DREAMERS, AND ME

As anyone who knows me at all, knows that I am some sort of muppet. I gotta be. I don't remember a time of my life when they were not a strong influence in my life. Kermit playing the banjo, Piggy karate chopping someone, Gonzo lusting after chickens, Animal yelling "Woman!" They were always apart of me.

Last month was the 20th anniversary of Jim Henson's death. Jim is the man responsible of creating and assembling this motley crew of creations, as well as putting a big yellow bird on Sesame Street, and many other worlds that were explored on film and television. He was a true genius in the vein of Walt Disney and Mark Twain, and we lost him way to soon.

I was only five years old the day Jim died. I came home from school, and my mother was prepared to tell me the news. I sobbed. It was like a death in the family. My first questions were about Kermit and Piggy and all of their friends, and what they would do now, and my mother had no answers. She just hugged me and mothered me. I knew they were puppets, somehow, but didn't fully understand how they operated. I knew they were just "held up." If Jim Henson wasn't there to hold Kermit up, what was to become of him??  I remember this day as it was yesterday. It is very profound in my memory.

As I am now an adult, the humor and irreverent style with a sweetness that the Muppets carried has stayed with me. I have has the pleasure to meet and talk with a few of the original Muppeteers about Jim and his outlook on life and work and I hold him responsible for my silly sense of humor. Jerry Juhl was head writer for the Muppet Show and a performer before that, and he was responsible for their silly sweetness. I blame him for the way I write jokes, as well. From a very young age, these men groomed me to be a comedian and writer, and humorist.

Recently, this sweet silliness and irreverent style has been unveiled for the public to see. At 30 Rock in NY, The Muppets made their mark a long time ago when they were guests on The Tonight Show with Jack Parr (he was before Carson!) I will let my buddy Frank Oz explain in this video to Brian Williams....

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It really gets to me how emotional he gets and he explains that he is the "last man standing." Jim has been gone for 20 years, and we lost Jerry Juhl a few years ago. The world is a little less funny, a little less silly.



    Muppet Writer, Jerry Juhl and                                                       Muppet Builder, Don Sahlin             
                                                                                                                      
                                                                                                            


Here is Frank cutting the ribbon with Meridith Viera and Jimmy Fallon for the pipes to be part of the NBC studio tour....

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I hope that you all can see what I am talking about when I say I hold these men responsible for my sense of humor. I also think that they have affected and effected a lot of folks. I mean, I am not their only fan! Just their biggest. There has never been a time in my life that Kermit or his friends have never been an important part of it. I have forced The Muppets upon others. I was even at the dentist the other day, and started singing the Muppet Show theme to let them know when I was in pain! They are my happy place. They are my sane place. They are my insane place. They are my place. 

I will probably never stop feeling the loss of Jim Henson, a man that I only knew in this life through his work. I could go on but, I will end this post with a quote from Kermit that I hold as a mantra. At the end of the Muppet Movie, Kermit and the gang are being chased down by a business man who wants Kermit to be a spokesman for his french fried frog leg restaurants. It is the business man's dream to own a chain of these crummy restaurants. Kermit replies, " Yeah, well, I got a dream too. It's about singing a dancing, and making people happy. That's the kind of dream that gets better the more people you share it with." I find that to be more true everyday.

YOU NEED A LITTLE BIT OF COLOR

I am a huge Disney nut. The Disneyland Resort is one of my favorite places on earth. They have been rebuilding California Adventure for quite some time and finally finished a new water, light, and animation show called, "Walt Disney's World of Color" (does anyone remember that he hosted a show named that back in the day?) It is spectacular! I have only seen these videos, but it makes Disneyland's "Fantasmic" look like it is a popcicle stick, and ductape puppet show! I will just shut up and you watch all of these videos below!

WORKIN' FOR THE WEEKEND

This little video is in tribute to the fine folks I work with. They are insane fools...



but nice, insane fools!

GROWN UPS

Ok, so I told y'all about my life-changing scare at "Prince of Persia" with the snakes. (If you missed that post, just scroll down a little, you will find it!)
Today I found a little video of actresses Salma Hayek, Maria Bello, and Maya Rudolph promoting their new movie, "Grown Ups" when they had a snake visit their interview for "Extra"! I wasn't this bad seeing snakes in the movie, but listen to how bad Salma freaks her freak! She screams and carries on! It makes me laugh.....




But, seeing a snake is traumatizing! I love it how they were all crawling on Maya Rudolph's chair! Oh those poor women!

ATTENTION! ATTENTION! MR. WHATNOT HAS AN ANNOUNCEMENT!

Get ready! A free download will be ready to go friday morning! you can download it only from this site!!
CORRECTION! IT WILL BE DROPPED FRIDAY JUNE 18!!

WHAT THE SHREK??

Memorial Day 2010 has came and gone, and so has started the summer movie season. I was fortunate enough yesterday to take a little time and go check out "Shrek Forever After" and "Prince of Persia." There is nothing like a good double header!

"Prince of Persia" was so boring, during the first hour, I wanted to induce myself to vomit. If I did that, at least something would happen. Then came THE SNAKES! Why didn't anyone warn me that this movie was loaded with 'em!? If I see them,  I feel like they are on me! I was freaking out, and am still not too sure I didn't have a mild heart attack. I give that movie 2 stars, and that is being kind. I am calling my friends at Disney, and going to ask for my 8 bucks and 3 hours back....

BUT the story today is about Shrek. I won't tell you much about the film, I don't want to spoil it. Let's just be safe to say there are no snakes!  Being a fourth film in a franchise is hard. People think you are washed up, or they are sick of your characters. I thought the filmmakers ended a series well and it was a good flick. I saw it in 3D which was hip. I recommend seeing it in 3D if you do see this ogre. The animation was good. The story was pretty original, and it was pretty funny, but the first 15 minutes had me laughing until I cried. CRIED!

I was laughing soooo loud and soooo long at a series of jokes, (not to spoil it, but it ends with "Gingie" loosing his frosted-on pants!) that the folks that were in the theatre began laughing at me, laughing at the movie. (I was laughing my big loud laugh that I think sounds like a cross between Santa Claus, and Ursula, the Sea Witch.) I was hysterical. To top it off, some lady yelled at me., "It wasn't THAT funny!" which, sent my giggle fit blasting into orbit! I know my pee came out a little. I was nothing short of being on the ground screaming and slapping the floor. I was crying! I was peeing! I literally thought I was going to DIE of laughter! I am sure it looked like the video of that seal that plays the horns!

The rest of the show was anti-climatic after this bit of frenzied laughing. Thanks, anonymous lady out there who yelled at me in the movie. She was so annoyed at me laughing! So what? I had a ball.

Who the Shrek cares? 

DO YOU PLAY THE BANJO?

Mr. Whatnot, that prestigious polyester, spent some time chatting with up and coming hip-hop artist Young Sim. I don't think a whole lot got accomplished....

THE TRUTH WILL SET YOU FREE!

My buddy, Young Sim has just released a FREE mixtape that we have been talking about (see the interview below) called "Honest Flows is all I know" and I got to participate on the record a little. I just kinda... well.... silly all over the place. Click HERE and register on the site and download it for FREE! Everybody loves FREE!

IT'S NOT BARBARA WALTERS....

Here my friends, is an interview that I did this week with my good friend and business partner Young Sim. I asked the questions and he did the best he could to answer. We did a full, classy, interview, and we also did a "Chase" kind of interview with silly questions that will air at a later time (if I can get him to approve it, ahem...) He has put together a mixtape that you can download for FREE coming this monday to a computer near you. He has several guests contributing to his Hip-Hop,  (maybe even me throwing in my impression of Alicia Keys) and it is bound to be a success. Watch the interview below, and watch for a close connection between Sim and my secret crush, Tina Fey.....

And There you Have it!

WORKING HARD FOR THE MONEY

Hey, It's Mr. Whatnot taking over, again. I am here to give you a little photo and to tell you that I have been playing around with one of the best people in the music business.....
More to come!!

RETURN TO SENDER

As everyone knows, I like to watch "The View" (Does anyone remember me getting Don to watch the show late last year? He LOVED those ladies!) Click here to watch that!

Well, last week Whoopi and the girls were discussing an important adoption topic, that I thought was too important not to post on the blog!



You remember, those cats were thugs!

IT IS NOT A JOLLY HOLIDAY

Mr. Whatnot here. I have taken over the blog from the big dope for a minute. I am the little blue guy that you see from time to time. I took Sam the Dog to the park the other day and she was less than fun. I had my little camera with me, and thought I would get her to do a trick or something, but she didn't. She just ran me over! I got a grass stain on my polyester! uhhh! Here is a video of the ordeal....




ps. what a dump that park was!


~ Mr. Whatnot

HOW OLD IS TOO OLD?

I rarely watch 60 minutes. I rarely watch CBS! I feel that you after be "a certain age" to tune into that channel. I came across this video today of 60 minute commentator Andy Rooney as he was talking about "just how average american" he is, but "has no clue" who anyone is who is making music today. I think it is time for Mr. Rooney to retire. I wonder if he thinks that MICKEY Rooney and Judy Garland are still making movies and he can attend a double feature down town on saturday....



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oh, and just for the record, I have Ella Fitzgerald and Lady GaGa on my ipod right next to Jay-Z and Helen Reddy. Yes, Mr. Rooney, I do know who they all are. I will listen to them while you go and find a comb for that fabulous toupe you are trying to pull off...

THIS KID IS NOT A SINGLE LADY

I would have done this same thing!!

TO ALL THE MAMAS

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY!!

Happy Mother's day to three special women in my life that I consider my mothers. No, I do not come from a polygamist family. haha. Today I would like to send a  special message to these three and talk about each of them. My love runs deep for then each and we each have our own special mother/son/ friend relationship.  For that I am Eternally grateful to The Man in Charge. He must have know I was a "delicate" soul, and needed not one, not two, but three mothers to survive.

My maternal mother, Donna, raised me until I was 17 but then passed away when I was in high school due to complication to Diabetes. She is where I get my wit, my laugh, my passion, and my temper. At 5'1, girl was not afraid to give "the look" nor get on a step stool to look down and yell at ya! I even think she used a baseball bat as a mediator. It, uh,  worked...... haha. (I was never hurt, now!)

She taught me everything I needed to know when I was little. Like how to wash your hands. How to fold your socks. We dealt with the Santa crisis that comes with age. She taught me to say "Please" and "Thank you." She told me to choose my friends with wisdom. She taught me that "Jesus Wants me for a Sunbeam" and that my body is a Temple. The importance of a relationship with of Heavenly Father, and wanting to serve him. She lead the music in our church so I was the little kid that always got into trouble while my mom was up in front of everyone. The faster I did something, the faster she would lead the music! One time we did a 10 min hymn in 2 min flat! She also taught me how good a diet coke is after a long day.  Along with my Dad, They introduced me to some of the greatest comedians of all time, Johnny Carson, Jonathan Winters, Don Rickles, and Bob Hope, Carol Burnett, Lucille Ball, and we watched, All in the Family, I love Lucy, and The Dick Van Dyke Show to name a few.  I introduced them to the Muppets! By the way, no, I did not grow up in a nursing home. 17 years with her were precious, but not near enough. I miss her. I miss her a lot.                                          

When Mom passed my best friend's mom, Debbie, just stepped up, and from what I remember, told me that I should pack a bag a just live with them for awhile. (I know, it's all very Sandra Bullock in "The Blind Side") I stayed there and learned a few things that were very important: a strong work ethic. I spent some good ol' family fun down on the farm doin' fence and watering trees. Then fence is still there but the trees died. I guess I am not a Botanist after all.
They also reminded me the importance of my relationship with God. Something that had been established with my own mother, it was just placed into perspective with Debbie. She helped me get ready to serve an LDS Mission to Lubbock, Texas in 2003-2005 and has helped me recently as I am kicking and screaming into adulthood. In this, she has taught me strength. She has mothered me through good times and bad, and been a great fountain of advice as I take a path not many have taken. I know no matter what, I will have a mother's love from her. I also have introduced the Muppets to ALL the Buehlers.....


I was released from my LDS mission in October 2005 and my Aunt Kim (my stepmother's sister) had just lost her husband and both of her sons were married and she was looking ahead to an empty house and being all alone. I had no idea what I was really going to do with my life, so she MADE me come live with her. She had some strong feelings that she was to take care of me. The night before I was to move over to her house I contracted cellulites in my left leg and was in the hospital. I was in bed for months! She took care of me and just adopted me right from the get-go. We have been to Disneyland more times than I can count, and she is one of my biggest fans and always pushes and prods me along to do my best at what I want to do. She is always there to pick up the pieces if I fall, as well. She always wants me to work hard, and do what makes me happy. She is an eternal optimist! If I ever do a show, she is in the front row. Well, the second or third. She gets afraid I will throw something at her or call her on stage. She is also helping Debbie  as I am kicking and screaming through adulthood.  oh, I also introduced Kim to the Muppets.

I have heard it said that people come into our lives for a reason. They Bring something we must learn We are led to those who help us most to grow. If we let them, and if we help them in return. I hope I am keeping my end of the deal. Happy Mother's day to you two and to Mom, wherever you are, I hope you are celebrating and are happy. scratch that, I know you are happy. I love you. All three of you. And once again. I do not come from a polygamist family!!

LIVE FROM NY, IT'S BETTY WHITE!

So last night, I switched shifts, and actually had the night off and had the night off! I had to change a tire on my car. That was a blast. My mechanic is my four year old nephew, Boobie. (that's a nickname) He was all ready to do anything! Too bad neither one of knew what he heck we were doing!
Well, we got the tire changed (with help of the neighborhood) and then it was time for SNL hosted by the baddest girl in Hollywood, Betty White!

She killed it! As I watched her opening, it was like watching an old pro. She has worked with the greats (Johnny Carson, Bob Hope, ect.) and it has rubbed off. Her delivery was super, and she was great. Come september, I bet we see her walk away with an Emmy. But I am going to stop talking and post a few videos...

Here is her opening...



And here is one of her best sketches, in my humble opinion...



Oh, heck, just watch the whole episode! It is one of the best!!



My only regret is, I wish they would have pulled out a "Rose Nyland" sketch from Golden Girls, or even Sue Ann Nivens from Mary Tyler Moore. Over all it was one of their best!

THE BIGGEST TV EVENT OF THE YEAR

or at the very least, the funniest!

FAME

My Grandma used to tour with one of the biggest Rock and Roller's of all time! Here is my interview with her...

I DIDN'T KNOW...

I didn't know my florist was British! This sounds like a threat!

CHASE'S COMMENTARY CORNER

Okay, folks, I am just thinking and collecting my thoughts this morning and thought I would share with you. Plus I like the rhyming in the title of the post. Everything sounds better with "corner" put in it. No. Wait a second, now I sound like Tiger Woods.....

Kangaroo pouches amaze me. AMAZE me. It is like a "womb with a view"! How would you like it if your mother strapped your room to her stomach and hopped around with it. I think I would have always picked up my dirty socks. So do Kangaroos always have a C-section when they give birth? Do the kanga-babies birth out of the pouch? Do I want to know?

I was at Walmart earlier tonight and was browsing in the movie department. I saw that the movie "Cocoon" was recently released on blu-ray. We all remember that one, don't we? It is a movie from the late 80's about old people that are visited by aliens and a swimming pool is involved or something. I don't quite remember. When I saw that this had been released on hi-def blu-ray, I thought, "That movie is going to show more wrinkles and folds and creases than oragami. Poor Wilford Brimley." If you don't know who he is, google him. That movie is just littered with geriatrics....

It has been reported that Dame Elizabeth Taylor is ENGAGED! ENGAGED! (She has supposedly denied reports on her twitter. Twitter?! What a hip ol' granny! She is in her 70's, and tweets!) That woman has been married 8 times! Twice to the same man! She has famously told Oprah, Barbra Walters, Entertainment Tonight, and anyone who will listen, that she will NEVER marry again. (A little bit ago, I posted some videos of her anti-marriage rants, and even a howl! Just go back a few pages!) The Dame keeps things interesting! Well, you know what they say: "If at first you don't succeed, fail, fail, again....." or "The ninth time is the charm!"

and, in a final thought this morning---

My sister, Allison, is a happy, Mother and Wife that loves her family and loves life. We are bonded very much by our senses of humor and our fingers on the pulse of pop culture. Her favorite band is Five for Fighting that is known for such songs as, "Superman," "100 Years," "Disneyland," and their latest, "Chances." She took her loving husband, my brother-in-law, Justin, to a concert last week where she got to up her "groupie" status a little more. She went backstage after the show, to the meet and greet, and got to meet the singer/songwriter that rocks her socks. This would be equal for me meeting those Jonas Brothers, my favorite. So she tells the singer how much she loves the music, and the one thing that every rockstar wants to hear. "I crank up your music and listen to it while I clean my house!!!" He responded with a half-hearted "Great." and took a picture with her! So when the next Five for Fighting album comes out, I am sure that there will be talk by the band, "what songs will help Allison dust her shelves a little quicker?" "I think this song will really help her put some bounce in her house." They may even write a song or two just for her. I can hear them now..... "Dirty Laundry" or "Vaccum The Stairs"---

CONCRETE JUNGLE WHERE DREAMS ARE MADE OF

I am involved and influenced by a many great people. My friend and business associate, Young Sim, is prepping a mix tape that he has been workin' hard on with original jams and remixes, and even talked me into (ok, I jumped at the chance faster than that new Miley Cyrus movie bombed at the box office [and no I have not seen it. yet.]) hosting the mixtape. I play a...well it's funny, and it's got some hip-hop that is clean, and makes you feel good. Here is a sample of  a remix of "State of Mind" that he did with Facts, in fact...



Now mind you, this mixtape will be available for free download SOON, and if this has not sold you enough, it will contain my stirring rendition of the Alicia Keys chorus of "Empire State of Mind" (I bet you can't wait.......)

MY, MY, WHAT A BIG CARROT YOU HAVE THERE.....

Happy belated Easter, there folks! I am just now finding the eggs, and let me tell you, it smells like rotten eggs around here! Either that, or I need to do my laundry.

 Do you know what is worse than finding an easter egg a week after Easter? Finding it two weeks late. Ha. Anyone? Is this thing on?

As a springtime gift, the folks over at The Muppet's Studio have gave us a viral video with a monster named Big Mean Carl, dressed as a bunny, and all he is asking is to "Stand By Me"......




There is nothing like a little violence served up by our friends, The Muppets.....

I AM NOT DEAD

Hey campers! I have been offline for a week or so. My mac decided to up and just blow-up on me the other day, so I have been without access to my little horse and pony show on the world wide internet of web here. Let me tell you, it has been rough. People have thought I have been depressed, or dead, or worse, actually busy with a life. Nope, just a computer malfuntion.

MARCH MADNESS, MADNESS, I TELL YOU!!!

 My friends over at The Muppetcast, (the Muppet podcast) and Toughpigs.com ( the Muppet fan site) have banned together to create a great amusement for us folks who don't get too excited over college basketball, but get excited over brackets, and elimination, and rub-it-in-your-face-if-you-lose-you-poor-sucker-competition.
They have come up with "The Muppet Madness Tournament" to take place in the month of March. It is The Show (The Muppet Show, that is) Vs. The Street (of Sesame) Vs. The Rock (of Fraggles) Vs. The Rest (Dark Crystal, Labyrinth, Muppet Babies, Anyone?) that make out our brackets. It is a hoot. A hoot, I said. I have peppered my post here with some fan-made art to demonstrate said hoot.

Week one, just finished, but you can still jump in. Go to: www.muppetcast.com/tournament to vote (you can vote every 12 hours!) and print yourself off one of those handy little brackets and start an office pool. Hey, before you know it, who will need the NCAA?

Have I still not sold you on this terrific, genius, sensational, Muppetational, idea yet? Well, listen to my buddy Steve Swanson talk about it by clicking here:  http://bit.ly/aJPSrs

Cute, huh? Yeah, he could sell exploding socks to a Gonzo anytime. Wait. That would not be hard. Anywho, Join in on the fun, or lose out, it's your loss, bub.
(We are all kind of holding our breath until the end to see if KERMIT vs. PIGGY will come to fruition for the championship. I pee myself just thinking about it.....)

And, I will even catch you up to speed. Here it is, hot off the press, week one, round one, level one, chapter one, page one, line one, the first.....well, the votes are in.....

Now go vote for this week! Kermit needs you!

NUN BOWLING!!

Holy smoke! Have you ever hit a spare sinning?



Wipe Out, Indeed!!!

IF YOU CAN ESCAPE FROM THE NAZIS YOU CAN HANDLE ANYTHING....

This June TVLAND will debut "Hot In Cleveland" starring future SNL host, (May 8) Betty White. She plays a Elka, a caretaker to a home that three women move into. This thing looks hilarious. 88 year old Betty White is the Hollywood "it" girl of the moment. She has only been around since the dawn of television to get here! Check out this short clip from TVLAND's "Hot In Cleveland" coming this June.....

"Are you a cop? Then what's it to ya?" HaHa I can't wait!

MODEL BEHAVIOR

I have been laughing at this all day long! it is funnier with the sound off! C'mon now. We all laugh when we see someone fall down. When I fall down, no one is laughing harder than me. Anywho, enjoy this!




P.S. The girl is ok. Glad that she is ok.

WHAT AUNT KIM KNEEDS

My dear Aunt Kim had knee surgery on Monday, (it was a success, she is recovering nicely) but before she went, Sunday night she sat down and made a couple videos for me. Take a look.......






and also.....







She is such a good sport! Happy recovery! She now has TWO "bionic" knees!

THIN IS IN OR FAT IS WHERE IT'S AT

Actress Kirstie Alley has been on every talk show, program, magazine, and street corner talking about her new show. I am so sick of her talking about being fat! She lost the weight. She gained the weight. She lost it. She gained it. She makes me want to be an anorexic just so I am no longer in the "fat club" with her! Check her out on the TODAY show yesterday...

Visit msnbc.com for breaking news, world news, and news about the economy

plus, isn't kind of funny how mad she gets when they mention Scientology......

YEAH, WELL I GOT A DREAM TOO....

My friend, Joshua Aaron, has digitally remastered an album of his father's from 1981. He has it all set and ready to purchase, and has a goal of selling 1 million copies in the next 12 months. What a goal! Why go a do a thing like that? Here is a word from him:

"You see, Christopher Aaron's music career didn't begin, or  end, with [an] album in 1981. He had been writing and performing for years previous, and has written and performed since. Were it not for a terrible automobile accident in the mid-80's, which put a stop to his music for a long while, he might still be performing today. But even though he is now retired from music, his legacy lives on. I now have his complete collection of music and intend to rearrange the entire portfolio over the next several years, in addition to some of my own originals. This project is called Aaromark. The catch with the Aaromark project is that such an endeavor requires a good amount of financing if one is to do it correctly. So, in an effort to both bring Christopher's music to you and to make it possible for Aaromark to move forward, I invite you to buy Christopher Aaron's “All I Gotta Do Is Dream” at iTunes today. "


It is great music, folks. I admire this friend of mine for doing such a thing and having such a lofty goal. Go ahead and click on the link below and purchase your copy of "All I Gotta Do Is Dream" today! Joshua is a very talented musician himself, and I can't wait to hear what he is going to produce...(he can play that piano like nobody's business!)

itunes.com/ChristopherAaron

CHASE/JOHN

Okay, so over my life I have been compared to one of the greats, John Candy. He was funny, warm, and always the guy in the movie that you emoted with. We lost him to soon. Uncle Buck was constantly being watched in my house growing up.
Well, it is "Mustache March Madness" where I work, and I grew my poor, pathetic excuse for below the nose facial hair. (It is the first time in my life my father has encouraged using mascara. He says it will make it look darker.) No one has barely noticed my mustache. You have to have the right lighting, and I have to all but point it out. Most people just think I need to wipe my nose.
Anywho, driving today, I thought with my little mustache, I looked like John Candy in "Planes, Trains, and Automobiles." You be the judge...

Okay, maybe not. It was a good idea in thought. 

Now just enjoy the trailer for one of the best comedies of all time, "Planes, Trains, and Automobiles"!!!!

INFO

Just a heads up out there-- One of my favorite comedianes is coming to Salt Lake City on July 16! 

Paula Poundstone

 will be at the Rose Wagner Perfoming Arts Theatre!  You can get tickets here by clicking on this link and going to her website------------->http://www.paulapoundstone.com/tour/ (This is especially for you funny lady I talked to on Friday night!! You know who you are....)

WANNA SEE WHAT THIS IS ALL ABOUT??!!!

THEN TUNE IN TOMORROW! 

THAT'S SICK!

Here is the treatment plan in my house for anyone who is sick. I woke up with a cold this morning, so I better get to feeling better!

IT'S GOOD TO BE GOLDEN

Whoever made Betty White sad....

Will be haunted by the ghost of Estelle Getty, "The Ghost of "Ma" past!"       

Those Golden Girls have each other's backs, even after this life! 

Oh, and Betty White will be hosting SNL on May 8th!!!