I get to the courthouse, and I have to wait in line to SEE THE JUDGE. gulp. I was in shock. gulp. My first thought was, "I look like a homeless man! I haven't even brushed my teeth! I haven't shaved! I look like the wolfman!"
The man that went before the judge before me was a rather large Tongan fellow and the judge sent him TO JAIL! I was sweating bullets. My bullets were sweating bullets! Here I was in a dressed in a t shirt and bermuda shorts and flip flops, while everyone else is in a suit and tie! I WAS JUST GOING TO PAY THE FINE!!! I just thought for sure he was going to put me in the clink. The big house. The joint. Who cares if I got my car licensed? I knew I had lived a good life, and now I was going away for the rest of it! My insides were sobbing. I should have gave Sam, my trusted dog, one last kiss and hug goodbye. I am sure she will write me from my cell.
My name was called. I walked to the plaintiff's mic. He asked me if how I plead. He asked me if I understood my rights. He asked me to remove my hat. I felt like gum on the bottom of society's shoe. My voice was even cracking. I had flashbacks of watching "The People's Court" so I remembered to call him "Your Honor" and to curtsy. I plead no contest. I held out my wrists and shut my eyes and waited to be carried off. Orange is a good color. I could wear a jumpsuit.
He asked to see the registration asked me to pay the fine, and then I was dismissed.
Freedom! Sweet Freedom! I kissed the pavement! I kissed a mailbox! I kissed an old woman! I was just so happy to be free and live in a free country! I am so thankful for my new leash on life!
I will be a good citizen from now on, now that I have had my brush with prison!!!
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