THE FIRST TIME IT HAPPENS.....

Hello ladies and Gentlemen! Welcome to The Chase Beecher Show! This is my first post on my first day on this blog. I have been getting this thing together for months. Does it show? Do you like the set? (What set?)

Since it is my first day, today is all about firsts. I could tell you about my first pair of shoes (my feet were so big, even then, they had to be specially made.) I could tell you about my first kiss. (She missed and kissed my chin, getting a mouth full of goatee.) But I want to tell you about my first passage into manhood. My first shave....

I remember when I was 13 years old. I had a teensy bit of peach fuzz on my face and I thought that it was time for me to become a man. My father is one of these rough and tough cowboy types that has always had a beard. Anytime he has shaved he does it with just warm water and a blade. I have come to find out this hurts. I think he shaved like this just to make himself look tough.

So, I go in our bathroom, shut the door and get the hot water running. I grab a new razor blade out of the cupboard. Butterflies are fluttering in my tummy. Today I cross the bridge from child to man. Wait. Stop. I am not going to do this without shaving cream! I looked high and low. The next best thing was a tube of "Victoria's Secret Sweet Pea English Tea Party Sissy Foo-Foo Girlie Girl" lotion. It will work. So I did it. I applied it all over my face, up to my eybrows. I butchered my face with the blade, and rinsed and then ran out to show my mother.

Now, my mother was a tender loving soul. Unless, you crossed her. I told her that I shaved, and her eyes welled up with tears! "You DID WHAT?!?!" "WITH WHAT?!?!" I tried to explain it was a good thing. She was so mad. She was mad and overdramatic, like a daytime soap actress! She kept repeating "You will regret this for the rest of your life! You will have to shave everyday now! It will just keep growing! I have lost my baby! My baby! " At this point she was almost sobbing. Sobbing, folks. I think she even wanted to keep the peach fuzz to preserve what was left of her "little baby." I was flabbergasted. How could this not be a good thing? Well, I learned. The next day I woke up with 5'o clock shadow and now look like the Wolfman if I miss a day. One time I went for a month without a shave and walked down the street, and someone even gave me money! They told me they felt sorry and to go get a hot meal, whatever that meant.

That was my first shave. It was also the first time I learned ask mom first.